Tuesday, December 27, 2005

chelsea 3 fulham 2

as i watched contestant after contestant demonstrate their gifts of the gab (in chinese!) on the programme 超级主持人, i am really filled with awe, as they are really fluent and incisive in their thinking. my mind rolls back to my JC days, when I joined Debaters but never really made it, cos I am the quiet, unexpressive, compliant sort, and tend to be nervous and ungrammatical when I am really given the stage. but the ability to stand with such poise and confidence, and speak with flair and fluency, is really an admirable one, and from today on, i still want to develop and hone my ability to speak. also, of course my chinese. these people are describing unforeseen objects and linking them in a story while connecting them to a prepared speech - in chinese. i'm really amazed by their abilities. one thing i realise about myself - i am only able to command a conversation in chinese if i start it, if i don't really know the person and start introducing myself in chinese. so for people that i always speak to in chinese, i feel more comfortable articulating and communicating, but for people that i am used to speaking in english, i am unsteady when i try to make a switch. when i sleep i dream that i am also standing in the centre, dressed in suit and tie, fluent in mandarin, and the stage is mine for that few minutes. there is a gap between a dream and reality.

but thank God, He did give me the chance to develop powers of speech in chinese. now my mind rolls back to that time when I went to Shandong Normal Middle School affiliated to Shandong Shifan University (山东师范大学第而附属中学). That was a yr ago, as part of a cultural-educational exchange programme organised by MOE. Since MOE encourages Chinese students to come to Singapore to study (& most of them go to Dunman High, Nanyang Girls & TCHS), it's time that Singaporeans can also go to visit schools in China. So 6 of us went - I think 2 went to Beijing, 1 to Shanghai, I went to Shandong, and 2 others went to another part which I can't remember. we weren't supposed to teach, just to observe the lessons, but in the end, I taught 2 13-yr-old classes on Introduction to History, and 1 on the Opium War. I had to write out nearly the entire script of the lesson, and I'm not sure if I pronounced 瑷珲条约 correctly, but thank God, the students were very supportive, and MOE provided a translation of the technical jargon for the policies, acronyms and systems regarded to our education system.

sometimes i wonder, since I am doing conscription liability in ___________, & will go onto career after that, should i still invest the money & time to develop myself? There are 5 interests I haven't really pursued...1 is debating or public speaking. Alas, I was not good enuff to make it to the school debating team, so debating was a hobby that soon faded out when studies and core ECA got too bz. 2nd is playing chinese chess. in secondary school and JC i alwas remained in the reserves and fringes of the team, and often my games were meant to try to force a draw with the opposition powerhouses so that the real good people could concentrate on thrashing the weaker opponents of the team. 3rd is singing. People say I have a potential pitch, but my voice is not trained, & i find it hard to sing from my diaphragm. i didn't make it into secondary school choir, and joined an ECA which gave me a good grace to go JC but...

4th is playing piano. actually i love music...but i love music when instrumental accompaniment & celestial voice synergise together to produce those alluring strains, like with piano and guitar combine in the background, the stage lights are set, and 彭羚 comes out, commands the centre stage, and pours out her heart into the microphone with the song, "嫉妒", and the audience is submerged in the spellbinding beauty of the voice and emotional intensity of the song's cry. 3rd is playing the piano...it sounds horrible when u r playing the scales, & when u can't even play it perfect, but if u know the piano enough to play 孙燕姿's 天黒黒 just like she herself sings and plays in the MTV, then all the years of practice is worth it. When I was young I was not mature enuff to unnerstan this.

5th is learning more chinese. there was a dim thought of trying to take chinese lit at JC, to delve into chinese poetry and prose "红楼梦" etc etc in JC. But I had no chance to go HC, to continue taking Chinese in place of C Maths (in the end, there was quite a lot of C Maths which I didn't enjoy, especially the endlessly boring and demoralising lectures, & the classes I had to take on geometry & statistics), or even to go down the unconventional route.

now i try to help myself. i still occasionally play chinese chess with my brother. He has great potential. He's definitely going to be the JC school team forefront, to do what I couldn't do. I try to speak chinese to everyone I can speak chinese to. I sing chinese songs at karaoke whenever i get the chance. i applaud those who can play the piano (some of u oreidi immediately noe u r the people i am toking about). I'm going to be a teacher, so i'll be still doing some public speaking, tho chances for me to talk in chinese will only to be the parents since i won't be teaching chinese.

actually i had a 6th dream. that is to be like carlo cudicini, who used to keep goal for chelsea and is an italian international, albeit not the 1st one. this is a dream...need I say more?

the writer is doing conscription liability in ___________. He contributed this article to the blog in his personal capacity.


Blogger mimosa said...

Join ACE toastmaster's club in COOS? Just a suggestion for your public speaking dream... or you can also consider volunteering leading word in cell.. alot of public speaking there.. haha :)

7:55 AM  

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