Middlesbrough 4 manchester united 1
Jesus Himself said, "You are my friends if You do what I command." Problem is, always find it so hard to obey God. Obedience is better than sacrifice. Simple obedience, w/o much questioning. Yesterday, BGR sermon, which I know me, more than anyone else, has to hear it, to remind me of the simple truths dat I always dun wanna listen. And I was reminded of the old fave song, "Draw me close to You." I cried as I sang the song, cos I noe dat if I really embrace God, all the loneliness and frustration will be gone, if I am really able to be His friend. But I find it very hard to obey, to meet the needs of my family and friends.
Yesterday I brought the tuition guys out for lunch, cos COOS sponsor us a celebration lunch, & after that they want me to teach them to play guitar, so I did. Taught them at MRT for 45 mins, then we asked them whether they wanna come to church, and 2 of them said they want. In the end 1 pull out, so disappointed, only 1 came, and I think he came more cos he still wanted to learn guitar after that. I dunno if anything in the sermon or worship registered, but I feel a bit ashamed of myself, sitting beside him, cryng during the worship, singing wif my eyes closed, going out for prayer (1st time I have ever done this in COOS, & wonder whether or not I did the right thing), and teasing Kim, perhaps going overboard again. Later on at dinner I thought I was very attention-seeking, realise that I am acting like a VERY VERY attention-seeking person, really cannot do that, luckily the people wif me were cell members, otherwise I would have made an enmity of everyone again. Wasn't very patient with teaching him, cos he kept asking about the notes and chords and couldn't press hard enuff. Luckily Pauline 姐 was very nice and tried to take over the situation, but she couldn't convince him to join the group of people his age. And I was disappointed the other guy didn't come, in the end, he pulled out at the last minute.
Well, all I wanted to do was to obey God. Why did it turn out so complicated? I invited the guy to church. I humbled myself about the BGR message. I tried to show love to the guys by teaching them. what went wrong? did evrything turn out right? Sigh. ! Must be on the day that this guy comes along (which is supposed to be a good thing), that I 破天荒, cry, go out for prayer, etc. I'd told myself not to do this any more. Guys don't cry. Grown men dun cry. And the SAF turns boys to men. If I dun become a man I'm wasting my time in the SAF. The SAF isn't a waste of time because they need the best of time to defend the country so that the economy can be prosperous...