Sunday, October 30, 2005

Middlesbrough 4 manchester united 1


Jesus Himself said, "You are my friends if You do what I command." Problem is, always find it so hard to obey God. Obedience is better than sacrifice. Simple obedience, w/o much questioning. Yesterday, BGR sermon, which I know me, more than anyone else, has to hear it, to remind me of the simple truths dat I always dun wanna listen. And I was reminded of the old fave song, "Draw me close to You." I cried as I sang the song, cos I noe dat if I really embrace God, all the loneliness and frustration will be gone, if I am really able to be His friend. But I find it very hard to obey, to meet the needs of my family and friends.

Yesterday I brought the tuition guys out for lunch, cos COOS sponsor us a celebration lunch, & after that they want me to teach them to play guitar, so I did. Taught them at MRT for 45 mins, then we asked them whether they wanna come to church, and 2 of them said they want. In the end 1 pull out, so disappointed, only 1 came, and I think he came more cos he still wanted to learn guitar after that. I dunno if anything in the sermon or worship registered, but I feel a bit ashamed of myself, sitting beside him, cryng during the worship, singing wif my eyes closed, going out for prayer (1st time I have ever done this in COOS, & wonder whether or not I did the right thing), and teasing Kim, perhaps going overboard again. Later on at dinner I thought I was very attention-seeking, realise that I am acting like a VERY VERY attention-seeking person, really cannot do that, luckily the people wif me were cell members, otherwise I would have made an enmity of everyone again. Wasn't very patient with teaching him, cos he kept asking about the notes and chords and couldn't press hard enuff. Luckily Pauline 姐 was very nice and tried to take over the situation, but she couldn't convince him to join the group of people his age. And I was disappointed the other guy didn't come, in the end, he pulled out at the last minute.

Well, all I wanted to do was to obey God. Why did it turn out so complicated? I invited the guy to church. I humbled myself about the BGR message. I tried to show love to the guys by teaching them. what went wrong? did evrything turn out right? Sigh. ! Must be on the day that this guy comes along (which is supposed to be a good thing), that I 破天荒, cry, go out for prayer, etc. I'd told myself not to do this any more. Guys don't cry. Grown men dun cry. And the SAF turns boys to men. If I dun become a man I'm wasting my time in the SAF. The SAF isn't a waste of time because they need the best of time to defend the country so that the economy can be prosperous...


Blogger mimosa said...

Don't be so hard on yourself lah...sometimes it takes people many years of friednship or knowing each other before you can invite them to church... so I think its encouraging that that boys wanted to come.. 'younglings'are like that, a bit fickle at times...
And by the way, real men do cry.

9:00 AM  
Blogger lychee said...

I was crying too. And worse was I did not have tissue and the fluid from my nose..*Yucks* So i had to go back to my own seat to take the tissue.
Men are also human beings marr. Human Beings should cry. I think Jesus wept for Lazarus too, did He not? Furthermore, on a perverse tone, whenever I feel bad, I rather cry. I feel good after crying everything out. If you don't cry, aren't you stocking up everything within then?

4:21 PM  
Blogger J said...

Hmm, I don't suppose the part where you were singing "Tong Hua" was the part you think you were seeking attention? Well, as one of the cell members present then, I certainly didn't feel that way. In fact, I think of it as a moment where I saw Eugene being spontaneous and natural. And like you said, I sang along too. I wouldn't have done that if you were being attention seeking and annoying, ya? :)

6:39 AM  

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