Saturday, October 29, 2005


Sigh. For some reason my blog can't link, and I can't upload my foto onto the profile cos it's 2MB and it can't be more than 50KB. I am not tech savvy. Everytime I use the computer, or other tech, it just won't work. I upload a diskette into the computer, the document won't load, my friend takes the diskette, puts it in, and hey presto! the document comes out. This frustrates me. Well, I've spent 2 days wondering how to link and put photos. Even my brother, the tech savvy one, has given up. Mebbe some kind soul can help me. If not, this blog should be about me. There is no pressure to perform. It's ok to have a blog wif a photo as a posting instead of a profile (scroll down), and no links. It's gonna be me - lack of tech savviness, long writing, and all.

Anyway, today I had the chance to be nice to my colleagues. This is good, cos every day, I set out to mean to be nice to someone. Today I had lunch wif 2 of them, and paid for the taxi fare back to AJC. To most people it's a small thing, but to me, who tends to be very tight with my money, and tends to be laid back, I'm glad that in this small way I try to obey God. I'm also v glad that I was able to talk to my colleague more. Previously I thought he didn't like me. But today we managed to talk, in the same way NSmen should talk and relate, and for the last half hour, I even managed to talk to him about God. It was not easy to me to do that. I am not an assertive person. I am very shy, very thin-skinned, and introverted. I started asking him a contra-negative question - was he unhappy about having to attend chapel services when he was in ACJC. He surprised me by saying he didn't mind, cos he was a Christian - but he's not a Christian now. We then had a conversation in which I asked most of the questions and he gave most of his views. COOS has taught us to share Christ by asking challenging questions and seeing what questions they give - so I challenged his views about a generic God, institutionalised religion, life after death, faith and knowledge, etc etc. Unfortunately he's very knowledgable, he was a Christian b4. And he was ready to answer all my answers. Occasionally I plucked up the courage to say 1 or 2 things - u must have faith & deeds, u can never unnerstan God or you would be God, u can't rely simply on science & fate in life, wat about life after death. He said God is very narrow & possessive if He wants man to worship Him and he excludes eternal life to all those who don't believe in Him. I said that's cos He is God, and he said, that's why I cannot believe that a god would be lidat. Wat to do? I've tried my best. I hope, that like me, although he was very assertive in his rebuttal, will reflect on the challenge I attempted to give him. I really hope this is a seed that has been sown. And this took place in the sound room in AJC auditorium, where another propaganda seminar was going on, while the students were watching a video and watching a skit explaining why conscription is necessary in Singapore. Earlier on the NSF who was to give a speech today came up and I told him that he and I were also NSFs. He was surprised, cos we were not in uniform. He was even more surprised to find me 3 yrs older than him. My colleague said, cos I am lucky. Later a question was asked about whether it's fair for guys to have to stop their studies for 2 yrs for NS, will they forget what they studied. He said, well, it's part of NS, u haf to unless u can haf ur NS deferred to study 1st, like some lucky ones. Well, it's true I'm lucky in this way, but do u noe how much I respect pple like him? Who can overcome all those tuff training, inc jungle confidence courses in Brunei, overseas exercises in Taiwan and India, and become fit and tuff, wif strong leadership qualities and dependability? I'm now a clerk in Mindef, I haven't gone thru all these things, those people who have have developed skills and character that no 1 can take away. Cos Tuff times dun last but tuff pple do. Am I a tuff person? No, I think I'm v soft, and not v street-smart. It's something I must learn. I'm now learning it in an office - in Mindef, in a different way, and next time, put me in an outdoor setting, I dunno whether I can be a reliable field marshal like others. I really respect those who are commissioned officers, cos I noe I can never be. Those people would also haf no prob handling technology, after they have learnt to handle weapons and artillery in the SAF. But people always think the grass is greener on the other side. I am a realist, so I believe the grass is greener on the other side, but do you also know that unless you yourself trample on it, the grass is also green on your side?


Blogger the third wei said...

alloz, mmh. neither a kind soul nor tech-savvy myself, but will be back in clementi next week, so could drop by at yours some time to see what i can do if u want.

10:49 PM  

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